The Noble Art of Secret-Keeping

Some people simply do not realise how lucky they are. My girlfriend is one such person. She does not know how lucky she is. Yet.

Yesterday I had the honour of sharing an hour of my life with the great Jeff Wayne - composer of the electric and timeless War of the Worlds (1978) - and I believed for years that I was a fan of his work. Hell, I am a fan. My girlfriend, however, is a fan. A fan worthy of italicising. There is no one in the world quite so darn... bat-shit-crazy about Jeff Wayne and his work. Unfortunately, however, "The Man" had her in his conformistic clutches in the shape of the University of Glasgow's Bower Building yesterday afternoon and thus was unable to accompany me on my drool-inducing experience.

As tragic and heartbreaking as this situation may be, do not fret dear No One - Superboyfriend was at hand to right the wrongs of this tale as best as he could. At the end of the hour (which was spent at the Alien Wars exhibition in Glasgow), I approached the man himself; nervous, embarrassed and humble wreck, carrying a sheet of manuscript paper from my pad and a sharpie that I just so conveniently had on my person. Trying to mumble coherent sentences was hard enough, but I think I managed to convey the intensity of my girlfriend's love for him - be it through boredom or awe, a tear was shed at least. He was kind enough to scribe a birthday message for her on the pad -- a mere 2 weeks before her 20th birthday. Awestruck and starstruck I spewed a million thank yous before asking the kind bartender for the stiffest drink she had in house.

However, therein lies my problem: I had just met Jeff Wayne (which I think I have expressed excitedly to everyone I have been in contact with over the past 24 hours), I have a girlfriend who is absolutely crazy about him, and I just got Jeff Wayne to wish her a happy birthday. I do not think I could honestly bestow upon her any gift that could possibly match that and the idea of seeing her face light up at the sight is just so damn intoxicating that I may infact crack before June 24th. I am aware that it will be far better in the long run for me to keep my mouth shut but damn, this business is tricky! How the hell don't parents crack to their children at Christmas!?

And the best part? I have to somehow go to the concert with her tomorrow night (hence why Jeff Wayne was in town) and keep all this from her. For a full night!

I cannot keep secrets. Lying? Not a problem. Keeping a secret though.. It's like telling someone not to push the big red button.

And we all know how that one ends...