The Cautious Art of First Impressions

First impressions are terrifying things if you are the one trying to set one. I'll never forget feeling the exact same way before Fresher's Week back in September, where for the first time since I was about 11 years old I had to worry about setting a first impression to people. I had a pretty cushy time of it for years during high school where I could accept that anyone I wanted to talk to understood and accepted who I was, and yet that so abruptly came to an end. I suddenly found myself putting on some charade of 'normality' for those whom I had never met, because when it dawned on me that a situation was looming whereby people didn't know about my inherent quirkiness - I shat myself.

However, as the great philosopher Dennis Norden proclaimed often - "It'll be alright on the night", and indeed it was. A few rounds into Freshers drinking sessions and you realise that everyone is on the same boat and you feel like a tool for ever trying to act 'normal' in the first place - it suddenly dawned on me that these people were students, probably the weirdest species of human. Those who unashamedly still drown their meals in tomato sauce, who can still name every one of the 151 original Pokemon or who can wake up and decide what clothes to wear that day based on whether or not they smell wearable.

You can hardly go wrong with students. But it's employers that scare me.

With the Summer tiptoeing its way in I feel the urge to go out and seek more employment to pad out my week and have sent the usual wad of CVs off to the streets of Glasgow and the Freshers feeling of unease has settled in again. If I go in and be myself, I run the risk of letting slip that I can whistle the part of every member in the ULLAdubULLA ensemble in its entirety from Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of The War of the Worlds, or that I can recite every word to Shrek and can do a pretty damn good impression of Shrek after a few drinks, and an even better one of Fiona a few drinks later, or that I firmly believe Swine Flu is the precursor to the Zombie Apocalypse, which will ironically be caused by the antidote for Swine Flu which is even more ironic because those who died of Swine Flu would have probably died from the winter flu anyway due to weak immune systems from growing up in Mexico, or worse yet, Paisley. Which, though I may be wrong, probably doesn't give off the right impression, right?

On the other hand, if I try and act 'normal' I run the risk of turning into a very quiet, reserved, downright bore who just says yes at the right moments in the hope that its what the interviewer is looking for. Ick. Frankly, I'd rather be broke.

I guess it's just all about balance and not dishing out the dollops of crazy all at once. Then again, maybe if/when I finally get an interview the interviewer will introduce himself to the tune of Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Damn, what an ice breaker that would be.

Looked at the weirdo sittin' down on the chair / thought to myself, "Fuck yes, I'm in there!"